The Gathering's Puppets: An Analysis of the Immorality of Applying Policy to Responsive Prayers
On April 8th, SMLT hosted an “all worship” Gathering service, during an official prospective student weekend. As many JBU students are aware, Gathering chapel services are typically included on prospective night agendas, and both students and parents are encouraged to attend. Although not perfect, these services typically represent JBU well and come with the understanding that the message and opinions presented belong to the student who speaks. By holding an all worship night
Genius: Sophomore Student Asks Girl on Date via Outlook Web App
He’s the hero we need, not the one we deserve. And like many great heroes before him, he wished to remain anonymous. So for the sake of this article, we’ll call him Steve. On Monday morning, Steve was just like the rest of us—sitting (bored) in English class. Then Steve did something amazing. Steve became a hero. It started out like any other day in 9 a.m. English. Steve was on his laptop, studiously pretending to take notes. Browsing through EagleNet, he was about to click a
Report: That One Couple “Really Not Dating”
We at The Defendant pride ourselves on bringing you the hottest takes in satirical news. So when we get a lead from one of our loyal and adoring fans, we are always grateful and eager to follow the scent until we reach the stink, if you catch my drift. The most recent of such leads came in the form of an anonymous question posed via email from sportygirl589@hotmail.com: “Dear Defendant, are [male JBU student] and [female JBU student] actually dating?” For the sake of privacy,
A Defense of Satire
Reading the title I just typed nearly makes me cringe. I am quite confident that satire is more than able to defend itself, and that if it did need a defense attorney it would deserve one much more qualified than I am. Nevertheless, in light of current events I think it is my duty to provide some semblance of a defense (explanation might be a better word) of the art of satire and specifically of satirical newswriting. The “current events” I refer to as my reason for this arti
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